THE ONE BY KIERA CASS BONUS EPILOGUE SERIES

Gillian: Should we talk about that cheesy ass epilogue?

Gillian: I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS ANYMORE. Gillian: It was your idea to talk in the first place! Gillian: Well, we have to talk about something. Gillian: Do you want to talk about how pointless (and predictable) it was that SPOILER and SPOILER were secretly Good Rebels even though nothing came of that information. Gillian: Should we bring up how the Palace security must be run by blind gerbils because that's the only way those fucking rebels could manage to get inside the fucking buildings six times a chapter? Do you want to talk about how stereotypically 'Asian' Elise was made out to be, and that her life philosophy is apparently 'Honor to Us All', and how offensive it was when Kriss pitied her for it? Gillian: Do you want to talk about how accidentally sexist this is? And how SPOILER needs a girl he can protect and SPOILER needs a man to shield her and guide her? And how these are held to be very, very good things? And those god damn sketchily-assembled rebels and their stupid conflict. Of course it is! There are romantical misunderstandings, pretty dresses, AMERICA IS A NOBLE HEEEEERO, Maxon what the fuck, ugh Asspen are you still here?, REBELS REBELS THE REBELSSSS!!!!, did that really happen how did that happen, the endddd. The King continues to twirl his mustache, and the Queen continues to be the brainwashed victim of an abusive relationship who is canonized by every other character in the book. Celeste the Bitch is abruptly and suddenly is humanized (which, actually, yay).

THE ONE BY KIERA CASS BONUS EPILOGUE SERIES

Like um, thanks for visiting this supposedly epic series ender. Marlee pops in for ONE SCENE and then pops right back out. Asspen is somewhere in the background, being a noble ass. Maxon and America are like, 'Oh no! We can't let the bad rebels win!' And then things happen that have nothing to do with their actions. There are two rebel groups: Northerners, who are Capital G Good, because they'e all YAY MONARCHY, and Southerners, who are Capital B BAD, because they want to shoot everybody and don't think the sun shines out of Maxon and America's royal behinds. America is no longer a waffling, waifish wattle-brain, and Asspen is less of a grunt grunt caveman, even though all of this growth occurs spontaneously in like the first chapter. I no longer feel like committing fictional murder. Gillian: But you didn't want to stab America in this one. One of the characters maintained a VERY STEADY position throughout both books, and poof! Book three, totes changes their mind. I like where Cass meant to take her characters in terms of growth and epiphanies, but I cannot believe the way she took her characters there. I don't like it when a book has like fifteen cheesy declarations. I don't like when characters change their minds and hearts abruptly from one book to the next. Gillian: But what about the ship! You like shipping. FINALLY Kiera Cass writes an interesting character, and then she has to go and ruin everything with a COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS ENDING THAT COMES OUT OF NOWHERE WHEN THOSE STUPID REBELS DO THEIR STUPID REBEL THINGS AND IT MAKES NO DAMN SENSE AND OH MY GOD. Gillian: Don't even pretend you weren't devastated when SPOILER died at the end. And heart trouble? HEART TROUBLE?! You kill off a major character in a series ender not through rebel shenanigans or anything, but HEART TROUBLE?!?!?!?! America hardly felt sad at all, and I got the feeling this part of the book was meant to be seeeeped in grieeeeef, and yet there was no grief to be found.

WE INTERRUPT THIS CORNY ROMANTIC SMOOCHERY TO BRING YOU SOME BREAKING SADNESS. Gillian: It was basically a sadness intermission. Gillian: I think you might be a very evil person. Gillian: A major character's death that has nothing to do with the plot, is not born of the plot even though it so easily could have been, does not change the plot that follows or the main character in any way, and is executed SO POORLY that I could only guffaw in sadistic glee. Gillian: I laughed when a major character died. Gillian: But you liked it! You laughed! I heard you! Though even my fever dreams tie up loose plot threads better than. Gillian: Was it? Was it, though? Or did you hallucinate ninety percent of what occurred? You did read it really late at night. Gillian: I REALLY NEED TO TALK TO YOU CAN YOU PLEASE JUST FOCUS. Gillian: Well, yeah, that's because I am y.

Gillian: I need to talk to you about The One.

Gillian: We're the same person, so you kind of just insulted yourself. Gillian: Was it? Was it, though? Or did you Gillian: Well, yeah, that's because I am y- Gillian: I REALLY NEED TO TALK TO YOU CAN YOU PLEASE JUST FOCUS. Originally posted at Writer of Wrongs Gillian: Hey, Gillian.

The one by kiera cass bonus epilogue